Yes, I’m all smiles because of my baby girl, but truth is I’m a hot (literally) mess!
It’s been 2 months since giving birth and she being my first summer baby (the other two were in January) I have to say I’m NOT loving this time of year with a newborn — high temperatures, super long days, mosquitoes and the other kids are home for vacation.
Needless to say it’s been tough, but like the saying in Spanish goes “Dios aprieta pero no ahorca” (God tightens his grip, but doesn’t choke) we’ve survived and transitioning to being a mamá of three and a family of five.
As in I-just-had-a-baby-and-I’m-super-overweight body. Let me be clear, pregnancy didn’t get me to where I am now — depression did. I had been climbing the scales long before being pregnant and afterwards I didn’t do much (anything) to lessen my weight gain.
No energy, the other two kids, bad eating and the list goes on. You know it. I didn’t take care and now I’m here at 5ft 1′ and 200 lbs. Oh SHIZZZZZ. It’s the heaviest and most unfit feeling I’ve ever been, HOWEVER it’s the happiest I have been in years. The irony of it is, my baby has saved me from depression after falling into it with my second child.
So this isn’t about learning to love my body, accepting what I look like or rushing to get in shape — because I am truly happy and enjoying motherhood for a third time. It’s about my physical limitations and how this added weight is affecting me daily in what I can do, how I move (even pushing our new Maxi-Cosi Adorra stroller around the neighborhood leaves me out of breath) and yes, what I can and can’t wear.
Dresses have been my go-to this summer and not all look good on me post-baby.
Belly may be (somewhat) gone, but my hips and thighs don’t lie! I’ve had a hard time finding something that fits over them and looks somewhat stylish. I didn’t think it would be this hard, but it has been.
The bees knees? Nah, because the extra weight has shattered my knees. I mean, I can feel the weight of my body pressing down on my feet and lower legs. I can’t go up and down the stairs without knee pain and when getting up off the sofa or chair means something is going to hurt somewhere on my body.
Back pain. OH MY BACK. Seriously I think I’m becoming the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Even when sleeping my back hurts and I can’t find comfort.
Is it me, or is it HOT? It’s me. Even with the AC and fan directly on me I am sweating. I’m talking about when I’m indoors doing nothing. I can feel the sweat drops on my back, my hair is moist and I’m constantly wiping my brow. I actually see drops sliding off my face and I’m flushed all day, every day.
Sweating + smelly. Night sweats. Day sweats. I’m a sweaty and smelly mamá. My clothes stink, my PJs stink, my pillow, my side of the bed. YIKES! I smell terrible, despite deodorant, showering and clean clothes. My PH balance is off the chain and this new odor is not helping me feel like me.
Itchy scalp. This one has me going crazy! It started during pregnancy and it is still going strong. I want to rip off my scalp it’s so bad. And no, it’s not lice. Apparently hormones really are a bitch.
So to all my mamás out there struggling with whatever it is — you are not alone. We all have problems, we are all a hot mess, we are all doing the best we can. Not everyone has the same issues, but we all have them. Be assured of that.
Remember, live, laugh and red lipstick! (my own take of course…)